


Believe Me

by assholemurphy



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: M/M, Season 2 Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-20 12:10:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8248330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assholemurphy/pseuds/assholemurphy
Summary: After the incident with Finn in the village Murphy is terrified Bellamy will blame him for not doing enough to stop him so he pleads his case and Bellamy does his best to reassure him that he doesn't blame him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For a Nonnie on tumblr.

Murphy rubbed a hand over his eyes. He was tired and all he wanted was to sleep for a week or two but ever since he and Finn got back it had been meeting after meeting, first with Abby and Kane, then with Clarke and Bellamy. Murphy wouldn't be a bit surprised if the whole camp knew what had happened by now. Finn, their very own peacekeeper, had murdered eighteen innocent people in his epic quest to find his girlfriend who hadn't even been in the village to start with, not that Finn had cared. Murphy was pretty sure he'd just been looking for any reason to blame someone. He'd snapped and there had been no stopping him no matter how hard Murphy had tried.

He shuffled his feet as Finn explained for the billionth time what happened in the village. Murphy stayed silent, not wanting to draw any extra attention to himself because then they would demand to know why he hadn't stopped it. He had tried, but they wouldn't care about that. All that mattered was that he failed.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of awkwardly answering questions and dodging glares thrown his way, the meeting was over and Murphy could breathe again as Clarke stormed out of the tent, a desperate Finn following after still trying to explain, trying to make her see his side. She wouldn't, Finn had killed innocent people, not that he really seemed to care. All he cared about was Clarke. He was off the rails and Murphy was a little worried about what he might do if Clarke never came around to his side, but still, that wasn't his problem.

Murphy looked up at Bellamy who was still in the tent, sitting with his head in his hands, trying to process what he'd just been told. Murphy empathized. He was still trying to puzzle it out himself. Finn had just suddenly snapped and went postal on a small Grounder village. It didn't make sense that he, of all people, would do that, but Murphy guessed people did crazy shit when they thought they were in love. The only thing he really knew for sure was that nothing he could have done would have stopped it from happening. Nothing he could have said would have made Finn leave that village, he'd tried to, but Finn hadn't listened. He'd tried, he knew that, but did Bellamy?

Did Bellamy blame him like Clarke did? He knew she did from the glares she'd thrown his way throughout the meeting but he didn't really give a shit what Clarke thought of him. Clarke didn't matter to him, but Bellamy did.

He'd tried to be good, tried to do good, tried to show Bellamy he could, but Finn had fucked that up royally with his little stunt. Did Bellamy hold him responsible for it? Murphy hoped not. He wasn't responsible and he couldn't stand the idea of Bellamy blaming him for it and thinking he really was the monster everyone accused him of being. If Bellamy did believe it, then Murphy had no business being in camp.

Murphy cleared his throat to get Bellamy's attention, wanting to explain what happened from his point of view.

“You're still here?” Bellamy asked, a little confused. He would have thought Murphy would have taken the first chance he got to leave and eat before going to bed. It's what he would do if he'd been drug through the ordeal Murphy had.

Murphy nodded. He struggled to find the words he needed. How was he supposed to explain what happened to Bellamy without it sounding like he was in some way responsible? He had known Finn was unstable when they went into the village, he just hadn't expected him to go and do what he did. “I tried, you know.” He had tried. He'd done the right thing and tried to stop Finn but he hadn't been able to, no matter how hard he had tried. Finn had snapped and there had been nothing Murphy could have done to stop it.

“Tried to do what?” Bellamy asked, not quite understanding what Murphy meant.

“I tried to stop him. There was nothing I could do-” Murphy cut himself off. Bellamy was staring at him like he had lost his mind. Murphy realized that nothing he said mattered, Bellamy blamed him, too. Bellamy thought that he was at fault. Murphy swallowed the lump forming in his throat and began again, the words rushing out as he tried his best to make Bellamy understand. “I tried to get him to stop, I tried to get him to leave the village but he wouldn't listen to me. He was only interested in finding Clarke and he thought they had her, but anyone could tell they weren't there. There was no where to hide them, but Finn didn't listen. He herded everyone into the middle of he village so he could search for our people but one of the people, just a kid, Bell, younger than us, he moved and Finn just shot him. He shot him and then he started shooting the others and I tried to stop him, I really did but he just lost it. He didn't stop shooting until they were all dead. They were innocent people and he killed them all and I'm sorry I couldn't stop him, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Bell. I tried.”

Tired and failed. He hadn't done enough. The people were still dead, Finn was still a murderer, and Murphy was still to blame. “I tried.”

“I know,” Bellamy told him.

Murphy nodded, assuming Bellamy meant that it still wasn't enough. He should have tried harder, done something else, but he hadn't. All he'd done was scream at Finn and try to reason with him, but he had known Finn couldn't be reasoned with. “I'm sorry.”

“For what?” Bellamy asked, standing up and walking over to Murphy. He couldn't believe how desperate Murphy had sounded when pleading his case or how heartbroken he looked when he thought Bellamy blamed him. He didn't. Bellamy knew Murphy wasn't to blame. The only person at fault was Finn. “You've got nothing to be sorry for. You tried to stop him but there was nothing you could have done. It's not your fault.”

“It's not?” Murphy couldn't believe what he was hearing. Bellamy didn't blame him? How could he not? Hell, Murphy was even starting to blame himself.

“No. You tried but Finn was just- Look, it wasn't your fault, okay? If anything it was mine. I let him go out there with you when I should have stayed with him myself. I knew something was off, I saw the warning signs, but I ignored them. I should have never sent you out there with him.” Murphy could have been hurt, he could have been caught in the crossfire and it would have been his fault for sending him out there with someone he knew was unstable. He should have never allowed Murphy to be put in that position. What would he have done if Murphy come back injured? Or didn't come back at all? He should have at least gone with them.

“If you had gone you could have stopped him,” Murphy didn't even try to hide the bitterness in his voice. Bellamy was better than him, he would have found a way to save those people. Finn would have listened to him, wouldn't have pressed on if Bellamy had been there. Murphy just wasn't as good as Bellamy was.

“Maybe, but it doesn't matter. You tried. I believe you. I'm just glad you weren't hurt, too.” Bellamy clapped Murphy on the should, a gesture made awkward by how close they used to be and how strained their relationship was now, but Bellamy wasn't sure what else to do. He wasn't sure what he was allowed to do anymore. Things between them weren't like what they used to be and he was partially to blame for that. Still, they seemed to be working towards getting back to where they'd once been, or at least somewhere close.

“I should have tried harder. Maybe if I'd taken the gun-”

“You would have gotten yourself shot and then what? You did what you could but nobody could have stopped Finn from snapping.”

Murphy shook his head and looked down at the ground, “I tried, yeah, but everyone blames me for it. They think I should have done something more but I swear, I did everything I could.”

Bellamy moved his hand from Murphy's shoulder to the side of his neck, gently tilting his head so he was looking up at him. “You tried. You weren't at fault. I believe you, okay?” He trusted Murphy did everything he could. Murphy may have done things Bellamy disapproved of, but Bellamy didn't believe for a second he would have allowed Finn to kill all those people without trying to stop him. Murphy was a lot of things, but he wasn't a monster. He wasn't as unaffected by things as he wanted people to believe.

Murphy swallowed hard and looked at Bellamy, his eyes flickering to his lips and for a second he wondered if Bellamy was going to pull him in for a kiss like he used to but he shoved the thought aside. Of course he wasn't. Just because he believed Murphy didn't mean he still loved him, or ever had. It was just wishful thinking. “Okay.”

“Good. Now come on, you've been gone for a few days, you've got to be starving. Let's get something to eat and then you can get some rest, alright?”

Murphy nodded and Bellamy gave him a small smile as he removed his hand. Murphy mourned the loss of contact for a moment but then Bellamy's hand was on his lower back, guiding him out of the tent and towards the campfire and if Murphy tried hard enough he could almost pretend none of the things that split them up had happened. He let himself pretend for a moment.

Finn had murdered eighteen innocent people and Murphy had been powerless to stop it. Clarke might blame him for it, hell, all of camp could blame him and he wouldn't care. Bellamy believed him and that was all that mattered.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Feedback is loved! Find me here: [assholemurphy](http://assholemurphy.tumblr.com/)


End file.
